I'm Sorry I love You
by StrahmFan
Summary: Lily feels confused. She's always loved Severus, Severus has always loved her back. But James is different.   I suck at summaries LilyXSeverus, LilyXJames
1. I hate you, James Potter

**This is a story from Lily's POV based around the Prince's Tale. It starts from her first day at Hogwarts. **

**Enjoy =)**

**OH PS It's gonna skip around a bit =) Sorry**

**FIRST YEAR**

Stupid boys. I had to pick the ONE compartment that had the loudest boys. I heard their names once or twice they were practically screaming at each other.

"Come on James!"

"Not now Sirius. There are other people."

"I agree with James, Sirius. Later."

"We're doing this for you Lupin!"

"OH FOR HEAVENS SAKE WILL YOU PLEASE BE QUIET!" I shouted.

"Wow." The one called Lupin said softly.

"What's the matter Red-head?" Sirius asked.

"I have had a HELL OF A DAY. My sister hates me and called me a freak. I may have lost my only friend because of it. I am muggle-born and don't know what the hell I am going to do so please STOP."

"Whatever you say Red." James said looking dumbstruck.

"My name is Lily!"

"OK, Lily." James added hastily.

"Thank you." I slumped back down in my seat and stared out the window. As soon as I had slumped back down they boys started up again. Thought so. I heard the door slide open I turned to see Severus standing looking slightly cleaner in his Hogwarts robes. He sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulder.

"What's wrong Lily?"

"T-tuney hates me, because we read her letter."

"Don't worry about her. We're going to Hogwarts now."

"I don't want T-tuney to hate me."

"She won't...You'd better be in Slytherin." Severus said, hastily changing the subject. I opened my mouth to reply before one of the boys spoke up.

"Slytherin? I think I'd drop out. Wouldn't you Sirius?" James said.

"My whole family is in Slytherin." Sirius said quietly.

"Blimey, and I thought you seemed alright."

"Time to break the chain then aye? What house do you reckon you'll be in?"

"Gryffindor, of course. Where dwell the brave at heart." Severus snorted beside me.

"If you'd rather be brawny then brainy..." He said.

"And where are you hoping to go seeing as your neither." James jeered.

"Come on Sev. Let's go."

"Oooh!" They boys said. Lupin a little more reluctantly. James tripped Sev a little on the way out.

"See ya Snivellus!"

(Time warp)

I was in Gryffindor! Poor Sev looked devastated. I should be devastated I was in the same house as those awful boys. James moved down a bit to make room for me to sit next to him. I snorted and sat near Remus. He looked nicer than the others. He shook my hand. I couldn't help but notice a large scar running diagonally across his face.

"Remus Lupin. Sorry about earlier."

"Lily Evans. It's OK, their just immature."

"Lily and Remus sitting in a tree..." James sang.

"Shove off." Remus said, getting particularly pink in the face. Sev was near by and heard this, he looked murderous. When he was put in Slytherin I saw him look apologetically at me before sitting next to a rather large, long haired blonde with a prefect badge.

"So Lily. We got off to a bad start..." James started.

"Don't talk to me." I said in a clipped tone before moving to sit next to watery-eyed rat-looking boy. He looked stricken.

"Lily." I said holding my hand out.

"P-Peter."

"Are you OK?" He looked a little green.

"F-fine. I think I might actually go to the hospital wing." He stood up and waddled off. I raised an eyebrow. Strange boy. Very strange. A rather old, eccentric man stood up at the front head table.

"Well, I know you are famished after such a long trip on the Hogwarts Express, so I will only say a few words and leave you to your feast. Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak!" My eyebrow raised higher. Strange people, these wizards. Tuney would call them freaks. Like me. I suddenly didn't feel like eating. Could I skip the feast? Probably not. I stared at the plates that had been empty just moments ago. I put a few things on my plate but ignored them. Remus leant over.

"Are you OK Lily?"

"Just...Don't feel well."

"Remus stop talking to your girlfriend and come back over here. We gotta tell you something." James called. I pushed away from the table. A prefect with a mass of curly blonde hair stood up too. She ran over.

"First 'ear right?" She said. She didn't sound very British, more French. I nodded a fast bob.

"I'm Emmy. 6th 'ear prefect. Are 'ou OK?"

"Not really. Can I go up to the common room? Or do I have to wait?"

"I don't think so. Hold Professor McGonagoll is coming. She's Gryffindor head of house, she'll know what to do." A rather stern looking women was walking briskly down the aisle. She had jet-black hair and a rather lined face.

"Emmy, what's the matter with young Lily?" She asked.

"She's not feeling ill and wanted to go to the common room."

"Well, we'll allow it this once. Feast are not usually skipped, but as this is her first time at Hogwarts I will make an exception. You go enjoy your meal Emmy, I'll accompany Lily to her dormitory." Emmy smiled thankfully and hurried back to her spot on the table. I smoothed my skirt and waved to Sev. He smiled and gave an exulted wave back, I turned to James and signaled a rude hand gesture. He stuck out his tongue. Remus looked over and mouthed 'Sorry'. I smiled and waved at him. I walked quickly behind Professor McGonagoll, with one last look at Sev I left the Hall.

(Time warp)

"Hey! Red-head! Wake up! You'll be late!" A girl with short pink hair shook me. Her eyebrows were strange shade of blue. She shook her head and her hair turned dark blonde, as with her eyebrows. She smiled at my questionable expression.

"Maxine. Sorry. My metamorphosing is always outta whack in the morning."

"Yeah. Wow, that's really cool. I'm Lily."

"Cool name. I have a younger sister. Her names Nymphadora. She hates it."

"Nymphadora? Can she...change? Like you."

"Oh yeah."

"Wow."

"Yeah well, like I said, you'll be late. It's already eight. Us first years have to be down the great hall."

"Oh blimey! I forgot. Oh, I forgot about Severus."

"You's better hurry then."

(Time warp)

I rushed down the steps, my cloak flailing behind me. I skidded to a stop out front of the Great Hall and crashed into someone.

"Holy- I am so sorry! I was in a rush, I did-" I gasped out. I looked at the mess of black hair.

"Jesus Lily. Ya leave me standing out here all by myself and then you knock me over!" Severus accused, laughing slightly.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. But can you help me with my books?" I looked at the toppled books. .5.6. 6 books? Blimey.

"Don't you have a book bag?" I asked picking up his books.

"Musta escaped my mind." He said dully.

"I have a spare..."

"I'm fine." We started to walk into the Great Hall but someone rushed past us and Sev lost all his books again. I looked up to see James grinning mischievously. I glared. He was such a jerk. I didn't see any teachers and my constant book reading left me with a few choice hexes. Maybe Jelly-legs. I pulled my wand out of my ponytail, where I kept like my pens back in muggle school. Before I could say my hex Sev had whipped out his wand and pointed it at James.

"Densaugeo!" Cried Snape. The curse hit an unsuspecting James right in the face. I giggled before letting out an almighty scream. To my horror James teeth were growing at the speed of light. They were reaching his waist already. James pulled his wand out with difficulty and uttered out a hex.

"Entomorphis!" I turned to see where Snape was standing, a rather grotesque looking black beetle. A load of people around who were watching in interest screamed in horror. Some laughed. Others gaped in surprise. Lupin and Sirius were already dragging James out of the hall.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" I screamed. "PUT HIM BACK! MAKE HIM NORMAL!"

"Why?" James called. Turning. His teeth had stopped growing but they were skimming along the floor. It looked like he couldn't speak properly.

"YOU TURNED HIM INTO A BUG!"

"Look at my teeth!"

"He made your teeth grow a bit. Look at him! You Transfigured him! He's a bug!"

"I like him better that way. He can't hex me."

"I will! Furnunculus!" When the hex withered and didn't work, James erupted into a loud guffaws of laughter.

"I hate you!" I slapped him across the face. Hard. My hand burnt a little and James cheek was bright red with my hand print.

"Ohh." I put my hands across my mouth to stop from giggling. James put his hands up and curled them into fists. Then turned eruptly.

"Let's go!" He yelled to Lupin and Sirius. I ran back over to the rather large black bug. I crouched down and held my hand to the floor.

"Quick hop on. I don't have any jars or nothing I can put you in. I'll just have to give you a piggy back ride. Sorta."


	2. Stupid git

**5th Year! Woo.**

I fiddled with my prefect badge as I sat by the black lake. James and his gang were near by laughing over something stupid. Maybe I could enforce some 'Don't-annoy-the-prefect' rule. I laughed at that thought.

"Something amuse you Evans?" James called. I looked over and narrowed my eyes, James winked back.

"Shut up, Potter."

"Ooh not very nice then."

"Leave her alone James. She's a prefect now." Remus said.

"Yeah? So are you Moony." Sirius said. Ugh, there goes my blissful afternoon to match the end of my O. exams. Maybe I could find Severus. He would cheer me up.

"LILY!" Sev called. I turned to see him hurrying across the grounds.

"Hey Sev!" I said, waving.

"Hey look who it is!" James called.

"Heyya Snivellus!" Sirius said. Remus looked worriedly between me and James. Peter stood as tall as possible and followed looking tough. Remus hanged back but still followed. James produced his wand, Severus pulled out his too but James hit him with a jinx.

"Impedimenta!" Severus froze in place.

"Stop it! Leave him alone. What did he do to you?" I cried.

"Relax Evans, we're just having a bit of fun!" James said.

"James, give it a rest." Remus said.

"Pbbt." He shook his head and lowered his wand. Severus motioned to curse him back but James was too quick.

"Levicorpus!" Severus was hoisted into the air as though a hook had latched itself into his ankles.

"Put him down!" I shouted.

"OK." James lowered his wand again and Severus fell.

"NO!" He cried.

"Levicorpus." James said lazily. "Re-think your words Evans, in the mean time, who wants to see me take down Snivelly's trousers?" I crowd gathered around the group and began chanting.

"Snivellus Greasy. Snivellus Greasy." I looked around helplessly. 'What do I do?' I mouthed to Remus. He shrugged. I pulled out my wand.

"Expelliarmus!" I shouted at James, the effect was immediate, James lost his wand and Severus began to fall.

"Wingardium Leviosa." I cried. Severus immediately stopped and I quickly lowered him.

"There." I smiled. I turned to James.

"Clear off, git. Or I'll deduct points."

"From your own house?"

"Yes. So bugger off." James made no intention to move. Sirius and Peter remained to, rolling around with laughter. Remus had ran off saying something about having to find Professor Slughorn. I turned back to Severus and outstretched my hand.

"Need a hand?" I asked.

"NO! Leave me alone- Mudblood!" He gathered his books and ran off towards the castle.

"What did he say?" James said furiously.

"Leave it." I said dully, "It's petty."

"Uh no! I don't think so." Sirius said.

"He called you mudblood, Lily, mudblood! That's not good." James said.

"Y-yeah. Not good." Peter agreed.

"Don't do anything rash. McGonagoll will be furious."

"Wormtail, Padfoot. It's time for the cloak and the map." He whispered. They nodded and rushed off.

"Map, cloak?" I asked.

"Don't worry, it's payback time." He smiled and shook his hair out. I raised an eyebrow and turned back to the castle.

"Hey, Evans! Wait." I turned, agitated.

"What?"

"Do you wanna...I dunno...Come with? Get revenge? It'll be fu-un."

"I'm good. Not good for my prefect title, see."

"Yeah but Lupin does it ALL the time and he never get's caught."

"Fascinating." I said curtly.

"Yeah."

"I'll see." I turned to leave but James called me back again.

"Wait!"

"What? James? I actually have studying to do!"

"Studying? O.W.L's are over! We're done."

"Alright fine it was an excuse. What do you want?"

"Well...You know I like you right?"

"You-I...What?"

"Well...I like you. You know?"

"Uh...no?"

"Oh, well do you wanna just go sneak into Slythering common room. Put a couple of dungbombs in Snivellus's bed? You know. Just...You and...me?" He finished weakly.

"What? Like a date? Like a date-date?"

"Yeah." He smiled.

"Hmm. Dungbombs in his bed sounds appealing. But how do you suppose breaking into their common room?"

"Easy-peasy. Just meet me out front Gryffindor common room at midnight."

"Hmm...Oh...OK."

"You know, I can see Snape right now."

"What?"

"He's up there. Watching. In fact, lot's of people are watching." I looked around slightly, there were quite a few people staring.

"What to give him something to watch?" He asked hopefully.

"Haha. Uh hmm umm...no. See you later." I smiled and walked off.

"OK then!" He called.

(time warp)

I paced around the girls dormitory nervously, it was 10 thirty and I was seriously rethinking what I was about to do, Mary stormed in.

"The ass is waiting for you."

"But it's only 10 thirty."

"Huh?"

"Aren't you talking about James?"

"No the other one."

"Severus? I don't wanna talk to him. Tell him he can shove whatever he wants to say right back up his-."

"I ain't talking to him either. He says he's gonna sleep out there if he has too."

"Well we can't have that can we?" I said coldly. There was no way I was setting a dungbomb outside the common room. I stormed out into the common room, there was a gang of people hanging around the fire including Sirius, Maxine, James, Wormtail, Remus, Alice and Sarah. James turned and winked. I smiled and nodded, maybe he wasn't half bad.

I slammed out of the door and caught a glimpse of black hair backing up quickly.

"What were you doing, eavesdropping?"

"I came to say sorry."

"I only came out here because Mary said you were going to sleep out here."

"I didn't mean to call you a m- That. It just..."

"Slipped out? Don't act like I don't know that you and your little 'Death Eater' buddies call everyone like me that. What makes me different?"

"I-."

"Save it."

"Bu-"

"Don't care. Just run back to your common room Snape." Severus looked taken back at the use of his surname.

"Oh. I didn't see it was like that."

"Like what?"

"I- He fancies you! James Potter!" I raised an eyebrow, _well duh. _

"H-he. He talks about you to his little 'Marauder' pals." I raised my eyebrow higher.

"Just go." I said and turned back to the Fat Lady's portrait.

"I'm Sorry!" He cried.

"I don't care."

I slammed back into the common room.

"Stupid git." I muttered.

"Woah. Sor-ry then." James laughed.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Just seeing if everything was OK, Evans."

"Spectacular."

"You're not wussing out on me?"

"Not even close."

"Cool. See you then."

"You will."

"OK." I laughed and walked lithely back up to the girls dormitory.

(Time warp)

At midnight I ran back down to the common room after pretending to sleep. James was sprawled on a couch, mouth slack. I kicked his shin.

"Are you ready?"

"Huh? Wa's going on? Lily?"

"I thought it was Evans..."

"OH, crap. Not dreaming. This is awkward. Right let's go." He pulled out a ratty looking cloak and piece of parchment.

"Interesting thing to keep in your pocket."  
>"Ha ha." James pulled out his wand and pointed it at the parchment.<p>

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Right you are. We are breaking so many rules right now."

"Do you ever turn off?"

"Nope. Wait. Is that a map?"

"It's not just any old map." I looked at the greeting

"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs proudly present to you the Marauders Map? What the hell is this?"

"It's a map me and gang made, it shows Hogwarts, and everyone in it. See." He pointed at a pair of feet and a title over it that said 'Albus Dumbledore.' the feet were pacing around an office.

"Ohmygosh! That is extraordinary."

"Damn right it is. Now come on or we'll be late."

"Right."

"Here, get under this with me."

"I'm not getting under that thing with you."

"Grow up. It's an invisibility cloak."

"Merlin's Beard, is it really."

"No." I narrowed my eyes.

"Come on, do we have some dungbombs to slip into someones bed or what?"

"Right you are." James stood next to me and threw the cloak over the pair of us. On the way to the Slytherin common room James repeatedly brushed his hand against mine and tried to play it off as to the fact we were under a tight space, though a number of times he grabbed at my hand but was stopped due to the fact I had jerked away.

"Will you stop it?" I hissed.

"Not my fault."

"You tried to hold my hand."

"...No I didn't."

"Whatever."

(time warp)h

We stood out front the Slytherin common room stumped.

"You could have thought to get the password." I said icily.

"I forgot."

"Forgot. How do you propose we get in now."

"Well...Look here, Macnair is on his way. We'll slip in when it opens for him."

"Right. Brilliant."

"I know I am." Macnair walked around a corridor and uttered the word 'pure-blood' the portrait swung open and James and I ran in.

"OK, where is the boys dormitory?" I breathed.

"Up here. See Snivelly's dot? We'll set them off then run like mad."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"I want to see his face."

"And getting covered in dungbomb?"

"We'll stand a good distance away."

"Fine. Let's go." We walked down a short flight of stairs into the boys dormitory. It looked posh and green. Gross. Severus was sitting in his bed writing in a ratty-looking Potions book.

"Give em here." I said. James shoved them in my hand and tiptoed with me up the bed, I waited until Severus was looking off out the window into the murky black lake and quickly placed them next to him.

"Let's go." I whispered, James and I retreated several paces so we were standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Hold your nose." He suggested. I covered my nose but the stench was overpowering, Severus gagged and made to ran to the stairs.

"Crap. Go." I whispered, James and I ran out of the dormitory and kept going until we were safely back the Gryffindor common room. We collapsed on the carpet in front of the fire laughing.

"Did you see his face? Priceless." I forced through giggles.

"Evans, when did you become less of a prude.

"Prude?"

"No I didn't-"

"Scared you."

"That was not funny."

"Yes it was, this entire thing was hilarious. I have to do this again, blimey that was such a-" I never got to finish me sentence because James blocked me off with a kiss. He backed off.

"Woah. Sorry." He said. I giggled.

"No, I liked it. I'll see you tomorrow."

**OHMYGOD! They kissed, yeah. =)**


End file.
